The Royal Wedding: To see or not to see?

On one level, of course, this is an absolute no-brainer: last bastions of hereditary privilege blowing yet more public money on themselves? No thanks. On the other hand- who could resist a sneaky peak at the service itself, if only to remind ourselves how ridiculous and anachronistic the whole system/family/occasion is? Do we sympathise with the Middleton parents for now being married into an elitist, self-serving clan with a world-class record in snubbing outsiders, or allow ourselves a little snigger at the fact they’ve made their fortune selling party-poppers online? Will Kate’s dad walk up the aisle dressed as a Clown in deference to his chosen profession? One thing that makes me think twice about allowing myself a harmless moment or two of voyeuristic schadenfreude is the worry that seeing “Call Me Dave” dressed in his morning suit might result in mindless and gratuitous violence and the inadvertent destruction of my TV. It does need replacing with a digital one, though; maybe this is the way to do it: indulge in a frenzied orgy of class-hatred and destroy my own property, before searching the internet, bloodied but unbowed, for a suitable upgrade.

Is it class/wealthy envy to be so riled by Dave? The cabinet has 22 members who are multi-millionaires, who must legislate, amongst other things, on the financial future of the poorest people in the country. Does this not feel akin to convening 22 rapists and asking them to determine the best policy for sex education? Despite what seem to be the obvious failings of Dave, I can’t say I hold out much hope for the alternative, particularly having witnessed Ed M address the crowd at the rally in Hyde Park. Wooden doesn’t begin to do his public-speaking style justice; if he ever wanders in to Madame Tussauds he’ll be lucky to ever be let out again.

My brother-in-law runs a craft brewery in and showed me a pump-clip he’d designed for the occasion: “I Couldn’t Give a Toss (But Thanks For The Day Off!) Ale”. However, on the advice of  landlords in the area, probably won’t be displaying it for the big day; despite the fact it will go down well with a large section of the drinking community, there is an equally large- and usually much more vociferous- section of the “leisure industry” who would be offended. Why do the people with what would seem to be the most reason for despising the social injustice and inequality of the Royal Family invariably turn out to be their biggerst supporters? Answers on a beer mat, please.

I probably will see a bit, in what I hope will be a determinedly post-ironic fashion, but what I fear will be in a spirit of unashamed curiosity. 

Dai Watts

Dai Watts is a London-based writer, producer and musician. As an Electro-Acoustic artist, he has released two albums on Academy Recordings, "Train Tracks and Travelogues" Vols 1 & 2, which are available on both CD and download. He is currently performing "Train Tracks and Travelogues Vol.2" in London and the UK, appearing as a solo performer and also mixing studio tracks live with a four-piece band of musicians and vocalists.

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